Bickering in marriage is a common thing for many couples, and one of the causes of bickering is the tone of voice spouses use with each other. Many experts believe that the tone of voice spouses use with each other is just as important as what the couples actually say to one another. If you want to stop fighting and arguing, you may need to change the tone you use with your spouse.
Why Is Tone So Important?
The tone of a person's voice says a lot. It can show joy, excitement, and happiness, but it can also show disappointment, anger, and resentment. Most people are not encouraged a lot when someone speaks to them with a tone that demonstrates negativity, which is why your spouse may become defensive when you use the wrong tone.
The words you say may have an impact on your spouse, but body language and verbal cues also do, and these things are often present in the tone of voice you use.
In addition, if your spouse is using a bad tone of voice when speaking to you, it may instantly cause you to become defensive and angry too. Whenever this occurs, it may turn into a full-blown fight, and it all could have been prevented had you both used the right tone with each other.
How Do You Change Your Tone?
To stop the bickering and have the ability to communicate more constructively, you will both need to fully understand how tone of voice affects the communication in your marriage and the ability to get along. Secondly, you will both need to agree to make some changes in the way you speak towards each other. Here are some tips that may help you both learn how to change the tone you speak in:
- Talk to your spouse how you would like them to talk to you – This is a simple, yet effective, principle to follow, and it can work wonders in a marriage.
- Lower your voice and use words to build, not harm – If you can think before you speak and try to use words and body language that build your spouse instead of tearing him or her down, it may also make a difference.
Some couples cannot learn how to change their tones on their own, and these couples can benefit by attending marriage counseling. If you would like to learn more about this by talking to a professional, contact a marriage counselor today at a clinic like Psychological Associates of Pennsylvania PC.